A Healthful Speech

Big Guy and I just finished our final run through for the speech tonight, with Toes and Gibbsy taking notes. Actually, there were no notes, because they were so busy applauding during the speech.

Big Guy was really wound up, and he's ready for a fight. He says this whole summer of attacks and untruths has just made him sick and tired, and Toes had to caution him on that, as under the Obamacare plan, a patient can't be treated for being both "sick and tired," and there are no prescription drug rations set aside for those who are both "sick and tired." It's times like these that make me appreciate being nothing more than humble hard drive. But I digress.

This speech is going to be awesome. Toes and Gibbsy were yelling stuff at Big Guy from the back of the auditorium where we rehearsed, pretending to be Republicans in the well, who no doubt will be grumbling after every other sentence Big O utters. We have some rehearsed lines for Big Guy when faced with this kind of negativity, but I can't share any of those zingers with you, because it would ruin the surprise. And, well, there really aren't any.

But I can tell you that one of the best moments will be when Big Guy says, "If you come to me with a serious set of proposals, I will be there to listen. My door is always open. But know this: I will not waste time with those who have made the calculation that it’s better politics to kill this plan." This is the moment all of the TV networks will really focuse on. Sure, it's because we told them to, but also because the stage directions that will scroll on screen, like, "Look to center camera. Stare. Hard. Like that Hawk guy from the TV show", will make the moment really dramatic. Completely staged, but really dramatic.

Besides, there is no way Republicans could kill this bill. The death panels we've put in place are controlled by Democrats.