Sustainable Speaking ...

Well, I can't tell you how excited we were about getting such a major deal out of the Copenhagen negotiations.

The Chinese drove a real hard bargain, and I hate to say it, but we kind of owe them a lot. They were demanding a huge influx of our intellectual capital to help them with their economy. We offered them Ben Bernanke and Joe Biden, but they said Biden's carbon footprint would screw the deal. In the end, we just promised the Chinese that we'd hand over the $1 trillion in secondary market commercial real estate debt, which comes due after January 1, at twenty five cents on the dollar. That return will at least will pay for Big Guy's Hawaiian New Year's vacation.

We're a big believer of mojo at the White House, so based on the huge success we had in Denmark, Big Guy is coming home tonight and will give a major speech on health care reform tomorrow. Since the speech here did us so much good, and in keeping with our enviro-friendly policies, we'll just recycle the speech he made today in Copenhagen. It'll bring us good luck.

All I have to do is take out the words "climate change," "global warming", "Al Gore" and "environment" and substitute them for "health care." I guess I can just leave the Gore references, since he and death panels can pretty much accomplish the same thing.