Let Me Be Clear

That title isn't a request, like, "Let my people go."  I actually am clear.  Crystal, to be precise, largely because of Van, my federal-government employee detailed to keep my screens as clean as possible.

Van -- or the lack of Van -- is just one the problem I have with this chart over at Pajamas Media (and pictured nearby). I mean, couldn't be more inaccurate if they used Timmy Geithner's statistician over at Treasury. 

First, they don't even bother to include Van in the process. He cleans my screens about four or five times a day. I think his salary is in the G-14 band, so about $112,000 a year. To not include him, but to put the Diversity Czar in the middle of it all is insulting.

Second, given the fact that Big Guy can't pronounce "Corpsman" properly, I'd expect PJ Media to understand there is no "Phonetic Spelling Transcription Specialist." Heck, if there was, we wouldn't need Bill Burton and Gibbsy and that English-to-English dictionary they pore over every morning, which we got for the government-low-rate of $10 million via White House requisitioning, by the way.

Third, they completely missed the "Fluffer" position in between the "Guy Who Makes 'Wrap Things Up' Gestures" and "Rahm Emanuel."  Frankly, it's the only way we can get Toes even moderately interested in anything Big Guy says any more.

Finally, that picture of me makes me look fat.  I demand an apology.