Warning: Objectification of Female Teleprompters Ahead

As Big Guy and I spent a little time in France I've watched this outrageous story unfolding in the U.S. about this disgusting "Playboy" article in which the author claims to want to do hurtful things of a sexual nature to conservative women. Well, that got me thinking. There are a number of TelePrompters in politics and media I have long lusted after. And while some may accuse me of objectifying female TelePrompters, what can I say? We're objects. So here's my list of paramours:

• FaceLift 1, Nancy Pelosi's Teleprompter: She's a bit uptight, but when she hears my Barry White and sees my rotating bed with the silk leopard bedspread I borrowed from Big Guy, her hard drive will melt. 
• Ghostwriter 1, Williams Ayers' TelePrompter: She's got '60s radical chic scrolling all over her. And while she hasn't bathed in years, when you're an inanimate object, you take what you can get. 
  
• RINO 1, Olympia Snowe's Teleprompter: She loves to trip the light fantastic ... and she's double-jointed. 
• Splash 2, Ted Kennedy's Replacement Teleprompter Post-Chappaquiddick: Let it go forth from this time and place that she mixes a mean whiskey sour that really sweetens the mood. 
• Plugs 1, Joe Biden's Teleprompter: Once you wipe the crayon doodlings off her screens, and reboot the hard drive from dis-use, she's kind of cute. 
• Big Red 1, Keith Olbermann's Teleprompter: You know those "Housewives of New Jersey"?  Just like them, but without the charm or social graces. And the attitude ... Now that I think about it, I wouldn't upload with her with a ten-foot-extension cord.  
• Topless 1, Nicholas Sarkozy's Teleprompter: What? You're surprised? And those silicon chips? All original. 
  
• Gray Lady 1, Margaret Thatcher's Telepromtour: Classy, and with those British spellings running across her screen, she's Kate Winslet to my Leonardo DeCaprio. 
• Gipper 1, Ronald Reagan's Teleprompter: Best scroll in the hay I ever had.