Texting With Keith

As part of the Obama Loyalty Oath and Obama Army Indoctrination Process, we at the White House monitor communications of a few ... okay, eve...

London Update

Probably the two most important meetings Big Guy will have while here in London will be with Chinese President Hu Jintao and Russian Preside...

Suspicious Package

No, not my favorite Washington, DC band, a real suspicious package was discovered outside the Bank of England. Some people thought that it m...

The Three L's

We'll be arriving soon in London. I'm very excited. Big Boy and I haven't been here together since our trip to Moscow back in 19...

Golden Opportunity

Because this is such a huge speech for us, I've been following this whole Notre Dame controversy fairly closely. Yesterday, Kenneth Wood...

Oh Come, Oh Come Emanuel

After we get back from Europe, I'll be moving out of Rahm's place. I just can't take his passive-aggressive masked in outright ...

Joking About Tax Cuts

During the closed-door meeting with House Democrats we had up here tonight, Fancy Nancy gave Big Boy an American flag that flew over the Cap...

In Which Gibbsy Goes Too Far

I am really annoyed at Gibbsy tonight. I wasn't at the press briefing, but I can't believe he said what he said about The Boss. So...

I Am Not Under Warranty

It was a really exciting day around here. We once again created a host of bargain opportunities tomorrow for investors, thanks to the 250 p...

I Am Live

I am on live right now, and Big Guy is doing exceedingly well. I love overly hyped remarks like this on the auto bailout plan.

The Entourage Theorum

As I mentioned earlier, Big Guy's entourage for the Europe trip has ballooned to about 500 people. For some reason, people seem outraged...

DoppelGeithner

When Gibbsy, Rahm and I got back to the White House with Big Guy, we watched all of the morning talk shows the staff had recorded. Obviously...

Taxing Issue

TATUS and the economics team just got off a real tense call with their counterparts preparing for the G-20 meeting. Timmy felt that he need...

Guarded Opinion

The Guardian newspapers are considered some of the world's best newspapers, so it won't surprise many of you that they are also some...

Clarification

There is a report out there today in the media that our Administration's Department of Homeland Security has suspended raids on work sit...

Facing the Nation

Big Guy sat down with CBS's Bob Schieffer on Friday and taped his interview for today's edition of "Face the Nation." Big ...

Travels with Michelle

We'll be heading back from Camp David to the White House shortly, but I was surprised last night when the First Lady came to my room to ...

Touching Youth

We are still filling out our schedule for next week in Europe, and Big Guy told us that he doesn't want to spend all of his time talking...

London Calling

Rahm, Gibbsy and I aren't up here at Camp David simply for the great buckwheat waffles and the free POTUS snugglies they hand out like t...

Who Gave Joe the Pen?

One of the things that attracted Big Guy to Joe Biden was the Delawarian's reputation for long-winded, tangled and almost incomprehensib...

Goin' Camping

Big Guy and the family and I are off to Camp David for the weekend. This should be a lot of fun. I hear that I get my own cabin. I need the...

A Circus, Indeed

Some of the younger, more exuberant members of the White House communications team have been encouraging their Democrat press secretary frie...

Lunch Bunch

At noon, Big O and I are meeting with what's left of the CEO of Wall Street firms, as well as some presidents of community banks. I exp...

There's This Hole in The Rose Garden I Want to Show You ...

This man doesn't need teleprompter help. He just needs help.

PMTDWD Must Be Stopped

I am proud of Keith Olbermann and some guy from the Washington Post no one cares about or reads, because they both had the courage to go on ...

Holder Tight

After the Afghanistan speech, we're going over to the Department of Justice, where Big Boy is going to give some remarks at Attorney Gen...

Busy Day Today

Wow. What a day Friday is going to be. There will be light posting because I'm gonna be pretty busy. Big Guy and I have a major speech...

Paper or Lots More Paper?

What a difference a day makes. One day Big Guy is a teleprompter-dependent empty suit with a large online constituency of stoners, and the ...

Ratings Review

Big O called us into a strategy meeting a while ago in the Oval to talk about the declining ratings of our TV show . Gibbsy blamed it on peo...

Gaffe-o-Matic

We're only about eight weeks into this Administration, and already we have a leaker. How the existence of our gaffe-o-matic got out is ...

Answering the Unanswerable

As I mentioned, there were lots of good questions submitted that didn't make the cut. So as a favor to Gibbsy and the White House nerds...

Counseling With Rahm

After last weekend's dust up in his apartment, Rahm and I have begun seeing the resident White House counselor together. Dr. Krinsky wo...

Behind Closed Doors

I don't think it's a secret that yesterday we went up to Capitol Hill for lunch hosted by the Senate Democrats. Sen. Harry Reid fro...

Just Jared

Jared Bernstein, one of Joey B's closest advisers is going to moderate the virtual townhall. But some go-getter decided it would be a g...

Question Time

Wow. You guys submitted a load of really good questions to ask Big Guy and me today at 11:30. To watch this "Online Townhall" yo...

Like Old Times

I'm a little tired this morning, after doing two speeches last night here in Washington. Both were for Democrat fundraisers, and for me...

A Little Less In Your Stocking

Yesterday, Big O appointed perhaps the greatest tax-policy review pane l in the history of tax-policy review panels. Publicly, we're say...

Bad Environment

In between shots of ouzo in the Oval office tonight, we got some more bad news. Toes came in with a long face and, looking right at Geithner...

All Greek to Me

We're having a great time over here at the White House right now. Today, we are celebrating Greek Independence Day, which can mean only...

Hurtful Words and Point of Clarification

I was having breakfast in the Commissary this morning, and I overheard some of the Advance team talking about last night's performance. ...

Why Last Night Was Boffo

As part of the Obama Loyalty Oath and Obama Army Indoctrination Process, we at the White House monitor communications of a few ... okay, eve...

Screen Shots With Rush

Teleprompter, as a consumer of electricity, how do you feel about cap and trade? This is a timely question, Rush, and I'm glad you asked...

Wrapping Things Up From Tonight

I think Gibbsy and I have settled on a truce. He's happy with the LCD screen for White House use. I'm happy to be back in control o...

If I Had a Nickel...

Big Boy is constantly telling us, "If a problem has reached my desk, it's not an easy one." Gibbsy, Rahm and I have a little d...

The Screen's The Thing

Well, I think that that just went phenomenally well, don't you? I knew My Man wouldn't let me down. This LCD screen thing is gonna ...

I'm In!

But you won't see my screens tonight. They've set up the East Room, and Big Boy said he'd feel more comfortable having lots of f...

You're Not the One That I Want

It's getting so the Big Guy is wondering if it's something about him. Frank Brosens, who we thought was going to replace the young b...

Reader's Digest Version of Opening Statement

For those who don't want to read the excerpts, as a public service, the White House is providing a condensed version of the opening rema...

Opening Statement Excerpts

I hear that they are re-running the final episode of "Battlestar Galactica" tonight at 8 pm. In case you'd rather watch that ...

Meeting with Rudd, But Not the Cool One

Everyone was really excited around here when we heard that Big Guy was meeting with Paul Rudd, the star of all those funny movies, like ...

Whew, That Was Close

Boy, we dodged what could have been a pretty embarrassing moment tonight, and this is a good example of why we rehearse these things. We we...

Tweet, Tweet

I may or may not be used tonight, but either way, I will there in the room. So I've decided to Tweet live from the press conference, gi...

What Happened?

The stock market is down this morning. What happened? Did Geithner go on TV? I told his handlers that handcuffing him to the toilet in his...

Practice Makes ... Whatever

I don't want to ruin the surprises in tonight's nationally televised press conference, but I wanted to tell you about the dress rehe...

In Which Gibbsy Proposes a Threesome

I'm sure everyone in America has by now seen the gaffe from yesterday involving the Big Guy's pronunciation of "Orion" in ...

Someone's Not Feeling So Fresh

Big Guy had an open schedule after lunch today, so he was just wandering the halls and walked into Rahm's office. He saw the new edition...

Called on the Carpet

Big Guy just called Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano into his office and really chewed her out. I don't think I've ev...

How Do You Say "Screw Up" in French?

I warned Big Guy not to buy Bill Clinton's old address book as part of the Hillary-to-State deal, but does he listen? Now I have this me...

Rose Garden Plantings

I think on Twitter last week I mentioned that I spent some time with Michelle out back working on what I'm sure is going to be a spectac...

This Is Getting Ugly

I knew rooming with Rahm was going to have some repercussions. But wow, I didn't see this one coming. I was in the morning briefing, ju...

You Say Toxic, I say Legacy ...

So TATUS didn't do a live-camera work to layout the Toxic Asset Plan, but it simply isn't true that this shows our Administration is...

TATUS Rises

In the Oval, we have a new nickname for Tim Terrific over at Treasury: TATUS. After watching our various economic team members' performa...

Rooming With Rahm

For some reason, since last Wednesday or so, my access to the White House residence has been hindered by Secret Service, so I'm temporar...

Tick, Tick, Tick ... Boom!

Steve Kroft is a real sneaky guy. He took advantage of The Boss. And I, for one, am outraged. I guess we only have ourselves to blame, tho...

Joey B Hits the Gridiron

"Axelrod really wants me to do this on teleprompter, but I told him I'm much better when I wing it." That's what Joe Biden...

My Sunday Routine

I love Sundays in Washington, especially since with all the newspaper cutbacks and downsizings, literally, the Washington Post Sunday editio...

Tick, Tick, Tick ...

Let me give you a little behind-the-scenes flavor from the “60 Minutes” interview that airs tomorrow night. First, imagine my surprise to fi...

Poll

Given the much-appreciated support you've shown for this blog, if I were to open a store with shirts and other stuff, I'd want to us...

Another Screen Shot with Rush

Now that The Big O has pretty much ruined the Friday afternoon bowling league for everyone here, we're all heading over to the Old Ebbit...

Roo-dee, Roo-dee

This is the best news I've gotten this week. The Big Guy has decided that we're going to do the commencement address at the Univers...

Iran, Iran So Far Away

Not to belabor the point, but when Gibbsy and Rahm pull this kind of stunt , it just doesn't work. Look, I know my limitations, but bri...

It's About Time

I don't have a huge ego. I can't. I get defragged regularly. But these are pretty cool. Thanks to Moody and Paste magazine

Sorry Isn't the Hardest Word to Say ... With My Help

Yes, to those asking, I participated in the call . Michelle was there, too, glaring, like she could see right through me. My screens feel...

More Screen Shots with Rush

Teleprompter, have you ever thought about helping Secretary Geithner, or do you work for just one person? No, I am a one-man machine. And ...

Confession Time

I'm feeling kind of guilty about that last post. I think I was a bit harsh. And now I'm seeing headlines on Gibbsy's BlackBer...

I'm Not Getting Paid Enough

Okay, I see the bus coming right at me, so let's be clear: this was His ad lib. I tried to stay to watch the "Tonight Show" ...

The Audacity Of It All

See, this is the kind of thing that really gets me hot under the prompter. I better get my 20% ... daddy needs a new set of rubber footies...

More Screen Shots with Rush

"Teleprompter, do you have a name?" Yes, but with all the 1’s and 0’s in the coding it’s tough to pronounce. Call me Tele, like t...

Screen Shot with Rush

Teleprompter, is the president ever argumentative with you, or is he compliant with your instructions? Good question. Look, like any relati...

Answering Rush

I should say up front that Rush Limbaugh is not my kind of guy. He sometimes speaks from notes , and often off the top of his head. If he re...

Tension in the White House

I don't think I'm breaking any confidences here by saying that things are a bit tense around here. Ever since the White House announ...

Hogwash

This buffoon clearly doesn't understand what kind of pressure a Presidential teleprompter must deal with day in and day out. I shall n...

Heading West

I'll be heading out to LA for the Jay Leno appearance. This will be fun; I haven't done Hollywood since that Streisand fundraiser l...

It's Time

Well, last night didn't go well. What can I say? I was tired. By the time Barack and the Irish PM stood up, the President and I had alre...