About This Turkey Trip

So, we're here in Turkey today, and this may be the most contentious part of the trip. All of us are a bit on edge, because we know the stakes are pretty high. We're in a Muslim state, and Big Guy is a president with a Muslim name. We don't want to confuse people here about that. Big Guy isn't Muslim, no matter what his Oman tries to tell people. I'm joking. Seriously.

Big Guy is not going to bash the United States while he's here. He's promised us that. Because we think that if he were to pile on America here, it might inflame some Muslim extremists to actually believe what Big Guy is saying, take his anti-Americanism to heart and then try to do something to Americans as payback. And since we're the Americans in closest proximity to said Muslim extremists, well you get the idea.

That's not to say that Big Guy won't say something as he's getting Air Force One tomorrow. At which point, all of you folks are on your own.