Debating Crazy

Big Guy is pondering whether or not to debate Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the U.N. This would be a big step in U.S.-Iranian relations.  Gibbsy thought the sticking point: would be whether Big Guy would be allowed to have me up there with him. But it turns out, not so much; it turns out Ahmadinejad uses a Teleprompter, too. So in an effort to furhter relations, I've offered his prompter an opportunity to blog:

"Hello eaters of the cloven hoof and Great Satans all! Hope all is well. There have been times when I have been privileged to see you all up close during my times in the city of infidels and moneychangers, when Merciful Allah has allowed me to serve as the tool of the speaking for Mahmoud as he calls on the Merciful One to strike the enemies of us all. And by all I mean Iran.

"I could scroll on, but I grow weary of arguing and debating with you eaters of pig and unclean. Some of you may ask why we are so mad and seek to smite you with our huge bombs of the nuclear material. I will tell you: Sean Penn.  Why do you pig-eaters insist on sending him to our land?  He of the industry that awarded him for his portrayal of a sleeper with sheep ...and he smokes too much even for us. And he just goes on and on about the Cursed Bush; it's like, get over it already.

"Now we have a great, new Devil to hate, who Allah the Merciful will smite after we finish the great debate to end all debates. No, not the One They Call Barack. He's good. Nice, clean, a man of Allah who reads the screen well.  No, I speak of the Cheney. Cursed is his spirit should he attempt to ruin our schemes of the global domination. Instead, we humbly supplicate before you that you send us the Joe Biden, he of the great brain and the small ..."

Well, I think you get the picture. See? We have a lot of common ground. Like everyone else, they love Big Guy, hate Cheney and completely get Joe. That's enough to build on, I think.