A Simpler Tax Code for a Simpler People

Big Guy wants to create a simpler tax code for all of us. First, he gave 95% of us a tax cut that shows up every two weeks in our pay check. Then he wants to simplify the tax codes, by shutting down loopholes so rich people can't weazel out of paying their fair share.

Then to make government work for all of us, he's going to create three tax rates: Those Who Pay Nothing, Those Who Pay Some, and Those Who Pay Most Taxes. Those are the actual categories Tim Terrific came up with, so everyone will understand the new code.

Those who pay nothing, will get a 20% tax rebate on the $100,000 they didn't earn. Those who pay some, will pay a federal tax rate of 49.9 percent. Those paying most will pay a tax rate of 72.98%. That's an arbitrary number Big Guy came up with on his own, but don't tell anyone, because he doesn't want all the credit.

It's simpler tax code and it's ... well, it's just simpler.