Ahoy, There

Big Gug has entered into direct negotiations with the Somali pirates. It's been tense. Given that our national security and CIA analysts believe the pirates are entreprenurial, Big O is offering them stimulus money to let the U.S. captain free. Unfortunately, the pirates aren't biting.

Pirate leadership is pointing out that they would surrender too much control of their pirate empire to the federal government, and they don't want Timmy Terrific or Big Guy to have firing power over their leadership. They also don't believe the U.S. doesn't have the cash to pay off the ransom. When Big O offered to meet with them face to face, they said that charm doesn't pay the bills and hung up. Man, these guys are a tough audience.